Weigh-in WEDNESDAY!!! Week update
Jan 15, 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJKeCYgb2Y8

good morning everybody and happy
Wednesday welcome back to my channel if
you're new welcome to my channel if you
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upload and also when I do go live thank
you everybody for standing by my side
this week in encouraging me and sending
me such great support through my it all
my social media platforms I appreciate
it
knowing that I have a lot of people
behind me cheering me on is an amazing
feeling especially when sometimes you
look around and you start diving into
channels that you probably shouldn't be
watching and you start filling beat down
it's really hard sometimes to lift your
head back up that is something I'm
really having to try and work on is that
I need to stop worrying about what
others think about me and just do me and
stop worrying if I'm making people happy
if I'm making people sad if I'm you know
letting people down I need to stop
worrying about that because the problem
is is I know in my heart I can't make
everybody happy
however in my mind I want to make
everybody happy so I try to adjust
myself to everybody's opinions to
everybody suggestions and at the end of
the day I'm never gonna be able to meet
everybody's expectations and so I'm
always gonna feel like a letdown and
that's that's a hard hard feeling to go
to bed with every single night I know
there's reaction channels out there that
are reacting to me I know that there's
rumors running around about me and
that's why I call them rumors because
their lies you know and I
I guess self-image is a very important
thing to me so when I feel like there
are people putting out there that I'm a
negative person or that I'm you know
this awful god person it really affects
me because as a human being and as
myself I always worry about what others
think about me and so that has been a
major focus for me this week and that
has kept my focus more than what I
needed to focus on not saying that I
didn't do what I was supposed to do this
week with my nutrition and things like
that but I could have given more time to
my exercise than worrying about what
others are gonna say about me or do or
whatever I know there are a lot of
people that have seen me plug in with
cupcake vegan I have been to two of her
accountability groups and I absolutely
love the fact that there is a group like
that that you can go to Chuck in you
know here are other people's success see
if there's other people that you know
are trying to kind of you know they're
they're failing but they want to better
themselves so they have found this group
to be you know something that's very
helpful for them as well and I really
truly have connected with cupcake
innocence that you know I again when you
fight a fight like you're fighting
you're always wanting to see the best
out of you the best outcome and
sometimes when you can't do that you
automatically feel like a failure and
you know I think that there has been
times were and I I am a person that I do
this all the time and I need to learn to
stop but I think I bite off more than I
can chew and that's when I make
commitments that I shouldn't make
because I clearly cannot keep a
commitment when it's an it's a
commitment that's just not even feasible
for me to do
and I understand that that keeping
somebody accountable for what they have
committed to is the right thing and I
understand that however I just you know
last night I was kind of going through
some comments on cupcakes video and
there was two different comments in
particular that the two commoners were
saying negative things about me and I
felt like cupcake and I know cupcake
watches my videos so you know I'm just
saying this to you as as a message from
my heart
and the reason I'm messaging you this
way is because you messaged me through
your videos and I have respected that
and you know and I know that you only
mean well when you're trying to correct
and things like that but I feel like
last night like you kind of stepped on
me a little bit and when I say that is I
feel like you were agreeing with some of
the negative comments that were coming
up against me that were more like a
bullying comment rather than a
correcting comment if that makes sense
and like one of the comments was well
you need to stay as far away from Amy as
possible
she's vile she's this she's that she's a
liar and then your comment was
underneath that was I'm afraid but I I'm
afraid but I agree with you or something
like that like you were totally agreeing
with what they were saying and it's like
if you feel like I am a liar and you
feel like I'm this horrible person why
would you make me feel like you are
trying to help me but then in the
comments section I feel like you are
budding up with people that are totally
throwing shade my direction when I'm
clearly trying and you see that now am I
saying that you should not criticize
some of the things that I'm doing
absolutely not
I think if you're criticizing me through
your video that's different but going
into your comment section and totally
blowing me with everybody else I think
is a low blow and that just it really
hurt me and I did comment back on your
message like wow you know I I didn't
think this was the person you were I
really looked up to you as like a
professional and as somebody that truly
wanted to help somebody but I don't
think somebody that is wanting to help
another person out would be lowering
themselves to that level of a green with
bullying and you know talking like that
about somebody that's just the way that
I feel I would never do that to somebody
especially if somebody's turning to me
and saying hey you know what I see you
could help me I'm on board
I want this so bad you know I'm I've
been present to two of your you know
your accountability groups because I see
that you know I want this is gonna help
me but then I go into the comments
section I see that you are agreeing with
people or somebody was to see that I'm
agreeing with somebody that's talking
shade about the person that's truly
trying it the comments should have
retained back to you know that's your
opinion and I you know I you totally are
allowed to have your opinion but I also
have my opinion and you know whatever
which again you have your opinion and
that's fine but I just I guess I thought
maybe our relationship was maybe turning
to be a little bit different beans
because I was really looking at you for
help and I thought I was getting that
but when I started seeing shade kind of
being kicked back in my face it kind of
hurt it really it's just something I
wanted to bring up and I'm not trying to
Dibble in drama nothing like that but
you know cupcake delivers her messages
through her videos and I want to do the
same so that we're all on the same page
so anyways that's just something I kind
of was going through last night and it
you know it stung a little bit it did
I'm not gonna lie and say that it didn't
but it's not gonna stop me from my
journey it's not going to derail me it's
not gonna do any of that I'm gonna
continue to press hard I know at the end
of the day the only person I have to
lean on is myself and I know that
anybody and everybody could let me down
the only person that's going to matter
at the end of the days myself but it's
nice to have true support out there and
true supporters that are willing to
stand there and hold my back up and say
know what you know what Amy you can do
this you are doing this look at how good
you're doing rather than siding with
people that are talking nonsense and
making the person that's trying feel
like maybe they shouldn't trust you when
that was totally not even something in
my mind like I totally was trusting you
know your agenda and I was trusting your
work you know you're you seem like you
really know what you're talking about
and I really have hope and faith in you
that you would be able to help me stay
on track and give me great ideas but
when I'm seeing shade being thrown at me
it makes me tuck back a little bit
because I don't want to hurt myself at
the end of the day so anyways enough of
that what else my nutrition was right on
point this week I did excellent I mean
honest to god I did excellent was my
nutrition I did mill prepping I bought
fruits so instead of having sweets when
I wanted them I switched to fruits I did
buy some frozen fruits to add with like
my yogurts I was gonna make some yogurt
blends like you know smoothies but when
I was looking at the calorie count it's
pretty high so I decided not to make my
not to make smoothies but it wasn't as
high in calories to use plain yogurt
plain Greek yogurt with some frozen
fruit in it and then let the frozen
fruit kind of melt a little bit oh so
good
but those were great breakfast --is
another thing is I have been trying
really hard this week pushing out that I
need to eat more you know not more times
but that I need to be a little bit more
aware of my nutrition because I don't
want to be under I'm not you know I'm
not going to say that I'm eating every
meal because I don't eat every meal I
just don't
but it doesn't mean that I am at all
making myself starve you know um I mean
really look at myself I don't think I
can starve not for a very long time but
my physical hmm my physical part I am
failing on I will say that straight up I
did not move as much this week as I
should have
I did start moving more at the end of
this weigh-in week so I mean I am doing
my my working out now much more than I
was at the beginning at the beginning I
was doing it but I wasn't consistent now
I've been consistent I set my alarm for
every hour I get up I walk and then I do
my wall push-ups and then starting today
I'm gonna start doing some stomach
exercises as well so that is something
else that I have started doing I am on
my menstrual so that is going to be a
little bit of a downer this week because
I try and say this in the best way
without being disgusting um I have heavy
minstrels and they usually wipe me out
physically I just am really drained
because of how heavy I do have my
minstrels and it's always been an issue
that's why I have the IUD and I thought
I was supposed to stop my minstrels when
I got the IUD but I have not yet so I
don't know but usually during my
menstrual I do have to bump up my fiber
and some time not fiber sorry my iron
not my fiber my iron and usually my
doctor has me take an iron supplement
during the week when I am on just
because I do lose a lot of stuff so
anyway it's not trying to get too
gruesome there but I will say that I was
still very successful and I'm still
happy with my week let me insert my way
in really quick so we can discuss that
okay as you can see yes I am 457 pounds
meaning this week I had a three pound
weight loss it's 3 pounds 3 pounds 3
pounds it's down it's not up could have
I lost more I don't know I mean I'm not
gonna say yeah I could have because
every body is different and you don't
lose big amounts every single week and I
I know that you know I know that I am
learning along the way and so you know I
I know that there are gonna be weeks
where I lose more than others this week
again I'm on my menstrual so that could
be playing a part in it I don't know I
know my nutrition has been on point but
my physical has a not but at least the
scales going down and it's not going up
that's the biggest thing as as long as I
see the skills numbers going down then
I'm accomplishing something you know I
would love a bigger number but it
doesn't mean just because I did not that
I'm a failure that just isn't even
remotely true so anyways so last week I
weighed 460 pound and 457 and let's see
what this next week holds I know where I
need to put a little bit more effort
into which is my exercise movement
whatever whether it's dancing with the
kids or continuing to do my walking in
the house my wall push-ups I you know I
mean I just got to continuously keep
moving that's the biggest thing I will
say though that I have been very
successful this week with not sitting
down while I am cooking or while I am
cleaning I have been standing well when
I'm cooking I I stand for almost all of
it except at the very end my back will
start to like scream at me but I have
been standing and cleaning the entire
kitchen by with no chair around me and
that's a success right there also
through the week is that I have given up
my chair City and while doing things I
just press through and I'm like nope
Amy's big but standing up
getting down it's just not gonna work so
anyways you guys I am going to close I
need to get some stuff done I am going
to record what I am eating for breakfast
this morning
and then I've got a lot of things to get
done this morning before it gets nasty
out we're supposed to get more snow and
I really not looking forward to because
I don't want to be out in it so with
that being said I hope you guys are
having a blessed wonderful Wednesday and
I will see you guys again soon bye bye